Time to try something new

Speculation Publications has concluded it’s first year, fifth release, and fifth anniversary of the collection of utter speculation. It came with some exciting announcement about what is to come for our small press (Like our first novella series and our last book of the year, YULE). We also did our first convention at Creatures Crimes and Creativity, which is a post of its very own.

It has been an absolute ride. Many many ups, and a few very deep lows.

I also have suffered a personal loss very recently. My mother passed away somewhat unexpectedly on September 10th. I don’t know if I will ever have more to say on that here. It’s a complicated pain.

All of this comes with a lot of weight. While Spec Pub has has an amazing year and is poised for an even bigger one, I have not given up on writing and publishing my own work, and that has been…how do I put it?

Fucking awful.

This year has been a BAD publishing year for my own work. I started the year strong on the heels of a great last year where I published four short stories AND gained and lost an agent. I shortlisted for several really great projects, my novel was under consideration with three publishers, I was working on some new novels, working with a new writing group, and feeling very optimistic that this year was going to be bigger than last year.

An author said to me recently, some years are just bad publishing years. It’s nothing you did wrong. It’s just the way it is.

It’s hard not to think it’s all my fault. After all, I am the person writing these words.

But I queried a novel a few years ago that got no less than six requests from agents from a pool of maybe 40 queries. I love the novel and it was a compelling topic, but the consensus was it just needed a little more refinement before it was ready, so I reeled it back in, refined the hell out of it, and put it back out this year.

Not a single bite. Nothing. Nada.

I know this novel is 10x better than what it was when i was putting it out a few years ago, and while I understand the industry changes quickly, I still see calls for this topic and style.

So I have to take that as evidence that this is a bad publishing year for me. Just a bad year in general, with the exception of all the things going on with Spec Pub. (oh and I got a puppy. That’s pretty cool)

In admitting this, there is a certain liberation.

If I can do everything in my power to get it right and still have a bad publishing year, maybe there is no wrong.

I have struggled for years with the back and forth of putting my own work out myself. I started this blog for that very reason. I stuck my toe in the pool a few years back with Vella, which was a very cool experience but ultimately not right for me, as my readers were not particularly keen on the format and the readers on Vella were most excited about paranormal erotic romance (which believe me I have tried to write and just cannot).

Although it wasn’t right for me, I lost nothing doing it.

There is a dark fantasy/horror novella I have really tried to find a place for this bad publishing year. It started the year getting a one line rejection after spending six months on a shortlist and broke my heart. It’s weird and uncomfortable and I love it.

So did my mom.

It’s time for me to let it be born.

My dark horror novella [NAME YET TO BE ANNOUNCED] will be released early next year. It is happening.

I really struggle with self promotion. I really struggle with asking for readers and reviews. I really struggle with talking about my own personal projects.

I am going to attempt to do all of that, and I would like your help, if you are willing.

First off, I’ll be posting an ARC reader sign up form. If you’re interested in being in my advanced reader team, fill it out. I’ll also have a newsletter where I will give updates, freebies, giveaways, and up to date information about my personal work and the books coming out.

Secondly, I need promotional feedback. I will be posting things here first. Cover designed. Blurbs. Back cover summaries, book trailers and other promotional materials. I would love to know what compells you, what repulses you, what you are indifferent toward. Please leave these comments NICELY, but I would love to know what you think.

Lastly, if you have it in your heart, help me get the word out.

I will be keeping you all updated here on what it takes to make a book, and what I’m learning about getting in front of my own self doubt to tell the world about something I created.

Thank you all for sticking with me through this and stay tuned.

photo by Alice Alinari